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| A General Theory of Love (Vintage) | 
 enlarge | Authors: Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini, Richard Lannon
Publisher: Vintage Books
Category: Book
List Price: £14.95
Buy New: £4.27
You Save: £10.68 (71%)
New (24) Used (5) from £4.27
Avg. Customer Rating:  6 reviews
Sales Rank: 4136
Media: Paperback
Edition: Reprint
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 288
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.6
Dimensions (in): 8.5 x 5.3 x 0.6
ISBN: 0375709223
Dewey Decimal Number: 152.41
EAN: 9780375709227
Publication Date: January 2, 2001
Availability: Usually dispatched within 1-2 business days
Condition: May have remainder mark. Ships from U.S.A. Please allow 2 to 3 weeks for delivery. Quality merchandise and service.
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| Customer Reviews:
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Love and Security September 11, 2008
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
I came to "A General Theory of Love" through a recommendation by a leading personal coach and emotional intelligence expert. Having read it, I understand why he thought so highly of this book.
The title sounds almost contradictory, yet the authors really do elucidate the nature of love, how it is enabled and how it is suppressed. They eloquently explain how humans are essentially emotional animals, no matter how evolved our logical brains have become. They describe how this has enormous impact on how we make choices in our lives about all manner of things, in our almost blind pursuit of happiness.
This book should be high on the reading list of anyone who wants to better understand the nature of human relationships of any kind. It offers insight into the reasons for feelings and behaviours of individuals, whether in partner relationships, friendships or the workplace. Perhaps more valuably, it explains the impact of parents, partners and society on the development of a person's ability to form loving relationships and to have emotional stability, more generally.
The authors make their points eloquently throughout the book, citing plenty of academic research to validate their arguments. For those inclined to further research any aspects, there are references aplenty.
"A General Theory of Love" is beautifully written. I would recommend this book to existing or budding parents, actual or potential lovers and indeed, human beings in any culture or society.
If you want to understand human beings... July 16, 2008
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
You need to understand Attachment Theory if you are going to work with people or want to understand them/yourself. I've read a lot of books on Attachment but this book takes the science and the evidence to a whole new level, or series of levels. I've just been reading it for a second time and have got lots more out of it. Beautifully written and eloquent, this should be required reading for every psychologist, psychiatrist, social worker, anyone who has anything to do with children and their development.
Coping with reason and emotions the right way June 18, 2008
2 out of 2 found this review helpful
I was surprised how little I knew about how the brain works after all my studies. The book explains convincingly that our emotions are in the limbic brain and our reasoning in the neocortical brain. The latter I knew. Our actions are very heavily influenced by our limbic and reptile brains; that is not in a rational way. That influence to a considerable extent is exerted in a way of which we are not aware. This explains why it takes so much effort to train the brain to get rid of negative emotions such as anger and jealousy. I found it very helpful to understand of the way in which emotions and reasoning interact. I now realise that when I talk or write to people that I am dealing with the limbic and the rational brain
The authors do note that it is possible to gain better control over negative emotions other than with drugs and therapy, but do not describe how.
The authors are very negative about business because employees become attached to business but business has no attachment to its employees. There are plenty examples of heartless companies but also many examples of companies that are concerned about the well-being of their employees. The only example in the book is a quote of what Vandiver Brown, attorney of Manville (asbestos).Question: "Do you mean to tell me you would let your workers work until they dropped dead? Mr Brown's answer: "Yes. We save a lot of money that way!" The answer is scandalous. But it is also scandalous that the authors present this as a typical attitude of business.
I nevertheless rate this book five star, because when the authors describe how the brain works it is absolutely brilliant.
emotionally enlightening February 6, 2008
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
This book was recommended by a close friend in the US. After reading it ,I have already sent copies to 8 friends. Flowery? I call it poetic and accessible to a layperson like me.
It rings 100% true March 26, 2006
6 out of 6 found this review helpful
This is such a rich book, it rewards multiple re-readings. To understand love from the perspective of science, one has to understand how the brain works, and the authors do an outstanding job of covering vast amounts of ground to enable this. It's easy to lose count of the sheer number of new insights including areas such as evolution, memory and visual perception as well as romantic and (especially) parental love.But this is no soulless text book. Indeed, it has been criticised for being a bit flowery, and in places it is. The authors' contention is that this is a subject only art and literature have previously handled, and perhaps this is their way of paying respect to the massive insights gained over the millenia. For me, it works. It is not a typical science book by any means, and this will suit some perfectly and others not at all. It is a shame that this is a barrier for some people. It is hard to believe that the whole world wouldn't gain from absorbing a little of the book's contents. Very readable, it rings 100% true.
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